Other Writings

A whirlpool at a point in intersection.

Not only did they share the same circle,

But their tribe absorbed the cancerous souls among them,

As if there were no distinction between each other.

The morally passable stood next to the degenerate,

As if oblivious,

Bestowing a facade of normalcy where none existed.

The perverse, the using, the underhanded, the soul-less,

All held hands as if their minds were one,

Men of means, trust funds, possessions, and sick psyches.

The stench of it was horrendous....

That odd day, a witness present, when I said I’d work for a treat, cajoling a reluctant pupil. You hesitated. Then your mouth let out your desire. Oh, you would give me a “trial,” you said, as you began to rock suggestively. Now, you would say it was just a joke. But who jokes that way with one they are not attracted to, one they would never consider? Not exactly something one would say to someone one did not want to give ideas to, not to someone one did not want. Is it? Deny away. Your mouth...

Oh yes, I used an underhanded method to try to pick your mind,

But it was harmless and nothing evil anyone could define.

And I lost my mind when you told your lies,

Made accusations guided by enthrallment to ones you have ties.

And though time and again I did apologize,

You were too busy reaping pity with your victim guise,

And making up things so vile that for them you will burn,

In that place you claim to believe in, it’ll be your turn.

But I never chose those I didn’t want merely for...

Coincidence upon coincidence.

Keep playing the same game, now long distance longing?

A man you haven’t know for decades … again?

Did he miraculously decide he loves you, though he’s had year upon year to declare it?

And yet you believe the sudden interest?

You still play the pity game, using me to snow your prospect from what you are.

Does he want to save you, dearie, be your hero?

No … he smells desperation and loneliness, knows he can use it.

And you feed it to him, sending him to confirm...

Another year passes with nothing but silence,

No well wishes nor repair,

So I leave my life alone from this day forward,

I stand no longer at the helm to skirt despair.

Whatever ill’s befallen me is free to run its course,

Eat away my body at its core.

I hope only to wreck upon some forlorn shores,

And sink to the depths, seen nevermore.

Farewell to thee, o soul-less one

You never knew what harm you sent,

Nor were aware of the heart that beat for you,

In your words … Heaven sent.

Literally the worst foundation for a relationship possible.

She’d known him for decades, and there was never any attraction. They had nothing substantial in common. But, one day, when they found that they were old, suddenly, he decided that she was it for him, and he wormed his way into her personal life by feigning concern over her recent loss and a long-time problem she’d been having. He, quite literally, used the knowledge against her. And the only reason she even entertained the idea of...

He hadn’t wanted to force anything on her. He’d only wanted to get close to her, and she made him believe that it was her wish. The way she moved toward him, touched him, looked up at him was unmistakable. Her hugs radiated need. The sweater she wore, accentuating her small breasts, clearly wanting him to notice. But she had listened to the murmurings of liars, and she was embarrassed by her wont. So she broke his heart, to afraid to give in and be mocked by her peers. But even then she left...

"She was the narc the whole time, and the proof wasn't only in her unwillingness to let him walk away, the lies, or later to refuse to accept any blame whatsoever … but in her silence. That's how narcs made people feel worthless, but cutting them out entirely and pretending that the other person didn't exist anymore. They would tell everyone that they were cutting out all negativity from their lives, that they forgave but wouldn’t open that door again, but, in reality, it was only their...

Before you make your last mistake, though you likely already have … STOP.

Stop and think and ask yourself if this is what you really want or is it just convenient? Look at him for real, with no thoughts of what you might gain. You suffered recent major loss and lost a year since then. Is this really the time to make a decision such as this? Are your emotions really stable enough to make this choice? Then ask yourself where he came from? Why all of a sudden? You’ve known him for decades and he...

Run, run, run away,

Convince yourself departure will your conscience stay.

Go to the one who targeted you,

Placate him for nothing true,

A windswept courtship as fake as your glee,

Too fast, the timing speaks dishonesty.

But move, move, move on down,

Into the abyss, but out of town.

Never redeem yourself, make it worse,

As in your mind you have rehearsed.

What a foul heart leaves with lies,

It is not me, but yourself you should despise,

And whatever sleaze you’ve fallen for,

Who will not give...

I will never be happy again, overall,

Because of you … and you know why.

But the sweet irony is that

Even through your forced smile

Though you feign love with men incapable of it

Though you claim to have healed

And even if you get all the material possessions you want

Neither will you.

Because false lives don’t make hearts joyous

Shallow desires don’t fill holes

Cloying attachments made for convenience are neither real nor fulfilling

And things can never replace real connections.

But the real reason...

Thanks for proving me right.

For living the lie I’ve claimed you live all along,

For being the bad person you showed yourself to be,

Vain, using, dishonest, yet spineless and neurotic,

Owned by the same fools you use.

Spoiled like cream in the full sun, heartless, deranged.

Thanks for the silence that spoke your true nature,

For the judgments so wrong but self-serving, preconceived,

That you still cling to as your excuse.

Thanks for the lies that you keep,

That burn a hole through your guise,...

“Oh Sarah Bischoff, for shame. Did you actually let them talk you into someone whom you have nothing in common with, an incel paper pusher, who looks like an 80 year old Italian woman and whom you've really had nothing to do with for years on end? Someone you don't know anymore at all, who has failed to find anyone in his neck of the woods for ages, i.e. giant red flag? And the guns. Really? Have you still not learned? That desperate, huh? You had a more fitting choice and blew it. Not...

Have you ever made your own decisions?

Have you ever had your own choice?

Or have you always let them choose for you,

Substituted theirs for your own voice?

They’ve told you what to think.

They’ve given you your line,

They’ve told whom to date and marry,

And it’s not once turned out fine.

Even when it’s not your want,

You’ve always drunk their swill.

Do you even have a mind, a spine,

Do you even have a will?

You never wanted her before, with decades past to tell her,

She wasn’t appealing to you ever, until you realized you’re a loser.

Just lost someone important, and has a had a hard time,

Use it man, give no thought to moral crime.

She’s unstable, naive, and all alone,

You know her friends, use it all, play innocent, break through her zone.

And she’s one you know from past, with a wide-open door,

So you decided to settle for her, since time you have no more.

You found the lonely one, desperate,...

Always back to the past,

Afraid to face the future,

Same people, same mistakes,

Inertia concentrating the impure.

Besties half your age,

Because you never grew up,

Hiding from a mirror’s face,

In a 30 year old’s cup.

Always chasing money,

Every one from the past your fund,

Thinking real men are made of greed,

A child’s opinion, sucking thumb.

And they use you as they please,

Come and go without a care,

And you let them treat you badly,

For the fleeting taste of a good fare.

Never loved by...

Forever stained with shit she would remain. It was one thing to spinelessly bow to her crowd and revise what had happened in her own favor—changing dates, what was said, recasting her reactions with no recourse to reality, and wholly inventing details. That was what she had fed to them, and, if they were dumb enough to believe it all, that was on them, for no true friend would have manipulated them that way, only the ego of a self-absorbed narcissist. But, following the advice of...

She demanded that it remain hidden from all but acquaintances, though there should have been no reason, no care to do so, as there was nothing anyone could do about it and she should not have felt concern about anyone else’s feelings if they did not matter to her. After all that time, to proclaim that she was wanted should have been her top concern. She would have demanded it be so and would have taken glee in rubbing it in the faces of those who condemned her. If it were real at all, she...

What was it, this fascination that had appeared from nowhere, with no identifiable origin? Was it an irrational attraction to neurosis? To feigned self-pity, bids for anyone's attention? Was it the coarseness of the adopted personality, learned from true trash? Was it the presenile aging, a perverse need for a mother substitute, as she needed a father surrogate? The diminutive, underdeveloped frame, the failing elasticity of skin? The childishness? Or was it insincere murmurs of feelings she...

"As it turned out, the innocent angel, the pretend Puritan, had wings covered in pig feces. She'd dropped to her backside for any lout with connections and a trust fund who talked down to her, known or stranger ... and she still did, no matter how unctuous, mentally diseased, or criminal he was. It wasn't confidence or a free nature, not a good time. It was classic self-degradation and always an attempted sale. Few ever bought, using her and casting her aside. But she was not chasing love,...