She demanded that it remain hidden from all but acquaintances, though there should have been no reason, no care to do so, as there was nothing anyone could do about it and she should not have felt concern about anyone else’s feelings if they did not matter to her. After all that time, to proclaim that she was wanted should have been her top concern. She would have demanded it be so and would have taken glee in rubbing it in the faces of those who condemned her. If it were real at all, she would have demanded it, to show the world she could matter to someone.
That she did not was a confession that what was said about her was true. That she did want someone else, and had destroyed it thoroughly for other people’s will. She would never let herself admit it, however, though, secretly she knew she didn’t matter to this man, not really, nor vice versa. Her fraudulent love act was not her foremost concern at all, merely an expectation she had given into, dooming it from the start. So she rationalized an excuse to keep the hell-born covenant unseen.
And he agreed, when no normal man would have, too proud of it to hide it and sensing that something was off with the asking, deceptions inherent, a heart that did not belong to him and would never be his. But he agreed all the same because there was no care in him anyway. He only sought to appease her delusions, to use them. In fact, he was only too glad to hide it, because then he could not be exposed as the creeper he was before he had her tied up … trapped. So he locked it down, kept it out of sight, pretending that he understood and feeding her lying heart to his advantage.
No man with feeling for her would have done so. The other who consumed her mind would never have allowed it, wanting the world to see his love for truth. And no woman with feeling for a man would have asked it. They would have, instead, proclaimed it to the world and accepted any and all criticism … if it were real. But it wasn’t, and they both knew it, knew they were using each other … and hiding their hell-born lie in shadows from the one she really wanted but cost herself.