Oh yes, I used an underhanded method to try to pick your mind, 

But it was harmless and nothing evil anyone could define.

And I lost my mind when you told your lies, 

Made accusations guided by enthrallment to ones you have ties. 

And though time and again I did apologize, 

You were too busy reaping pity with your victim guise, 

And making up things so vile that for them you will burn, 

In that place you claim to believe in, it’ll be your turn. 

But I never chose those I didn’t want merely for security, 

Never lied about loving someone or feigned immaturity.

I never married anyone for shallow comfort, as you plan to do, 

And never used another person, I was never so untrue. 

Never did I pretend to love or be attracted to one I clearly wasn’t, 

And never did I, like you, give in to one who also doesn’t. 

Never did I judge you for things I heard from other people, 

And never did I feign to want you, as you did early on to me.

You cannot deny the touching and the lewd insinuations, 

The flirting and the leading that raised my expectations. 

And never did I flirt with others, those who were married, 

You did, but you denied it, though the crime could not be parried. 

No, everything I told you, until that mess ensued was true, 

Every way I felt was real, though there was nothing I could do.

And I knew it, and I let you go, you know I did, but you would not allow it, 

Forcing interactions and demanding that I disavow it. 

I never revised history to create a pattern that was unreal, 

And I never pretended to be your friend—I was the real deal. 

Unlike those you choose, I never sleazily used your pain to woo you, 

And I never wanted you for ulterior reasons, like those to whom you coo. 

I never pretended to be holy, when I was not being straight, 

Never prayed to a god whose laws I ignore, never forgot fate. 

Yes, I have emotions, and I speak my mind in words, 

And the pigs who tell you that is bad are the ones who are disturbed. 

You follow insane rules you made yourself for whom you’re allowed to love, 

That are so constrained by tribe that you left yourself nothing real thereof. 

But in your vanity you maintain that I am the psychotic, 

But I did none of the above, no dear, that was you being necrotic. 

And I am not the one who chose to deny any reconciliation, 

Again that was you, because you obey your silly tribal nation. 

No, I would forgive and repair, if there were confession, 

But you’re the one who refuses to learn any kind of lesson.

And you still fawn over ones who are just like the ones you left, 

While I sit around with empty chest, my life for bad love bereft. 

My words have never been meant to manipulate your heart, 

They are merely my truths, and they’ve been consistent from the start.

Those who manipulate you are those you take, those who have no cause, 

For they do not love you as I did, they merely seek to pin you under their laws.

So call me what you will, but I am not the one who is deranged. 

I loved you true and tried my best, but you played me and keep me estranged. 

I am not the one who is immature and blind to reason, 

That is you, my former love, who lives in a perpetual false dream.

And unlike them my soul bleeds for you in your chosen blindness, 

And though I should hate you forever, I am still ruled by kindness. 

You are not … and neither are the ones you fall for. 

I am not the one who’s emotionally challenged though it’s easy to make the claim, 

You did and do all of that and still think yourself the one who’s sane. 

I was not and am not the devil—I was never the abuser, 

To find the truth look at the one you choose, for there you’ll find the user.