Why do you hesitate?
If the goal is to annihilate any return of feeling,
To ensure that nothing remains,
To prove your disdain,
And follow your trained beliefs,
To break his spirit, end his longing, and send him away forever,
Then show your cards.
Display that romantic farce,
That need to replace daddy that’s come far too soon to be real.
Be proud of it, as that’s what you’ve chosen.
So choose it for real,
Or admit that it isn’t and stop the canard.
If everything you’ve ever said is true, if...
He was forced to relive the betrayal, forced to delve through the lies one again,
Preparing for battle against those she had sent to destroy him,
The evil lies, the willful omissions, the lack of acknowledgement for whom she knew he really was, pretending him a demon when she had known otherwise,
Only desiring to be vindictive and treating him as a dangerous stranger.
The vindictiveness so vile … so evil … so faithless and cruel,
The reek of vanity and insanity so pungent one could choke on...
There was no one left.
He had neither seen a living being, heard a voice, nor felt a touch from anything alive, in just under a year. What had happened was unknown to him. He had simply awoken one morning, March 1st to be exact, to find nothing, not a solitary soul in existence save himself. The only thing that kept him going was some inherent, indefinable drive to survive. It wasn’t hope, but he found it ironic, given that he had once been accused of not having the will. When he contemplated...
Words that speak to no one have no meaning.
Unable to stir a single sentiment,
They drift into the world, but their import dies upon the page,
Not seen, not comprehended,
No heart or mind to appreciate them,
Living their short lives in vain,
Seeking to spur … and spurring nothing,
As the transient significance of the thoughts they carry loses its aim,
And blurs into a disarray of future interpretation,
Missing the mark entirely.
As honesty has not been sought, and atonement left one-sided,
As hands are washed of betrayal and lies,
The blood turning the water red,
As the high road has been razed to dirt,
And the low is the only path remaining,
May all days forward lead to disappointment,
All future connections sour with abuse and debasement,
May all love be false and empty,
And may the days end with pain equal to that which was inflicted.
For belligerence, denial, and a lack of humanity reap their own kind.
She wasn’t going to confess anything.
She wasn’t going to help him.
And she couldn’t care less what he had to say.
Reason didn’t reach her, and she had no capacity to feel actual love.
His words made no impression upon her at all, except maybe to cement her selfishness.
She was low, immoral, a rat, just like her ex, just as vulgar and phony, which is why she had chosen him, always chosen those like him,
And, like him, she didn’t have an honest bone in her body.
Everything about her was an act,...
When you cannot acknowledge past lies, moving on is not an option. For, when the lie remains, it becomes a basis for your thoughts, impinging upon every word, emanating from a tainted heart, sullying every feeling and robbing you of any sincerity. No, you cannot be a liar, commit betrayal, and imagine that anything you say from then on has any semblance of truth. You cannot lie about love and claim to love another. It is usury. Your sentiments are tainted, predicated upon falsity, on escape...
For some, it is the illusion that fuels their life, giving their actions purpose. It doesn’t make a difference if the facts refute the story, if they are at fault as well, as the willful misunderstanding is all that matters, and they cling to it for its own sake, even in a betrayal that calls them depraved.
She knew well what his reasoning was, and why it was. Even when he was lost in despair, ranting and contradicting himself, his plaints and words hyperbolic, she knew that he knew that they...
Psycho.
That was her story, the story she claimed to everyone, adding in her own make-believe embellishments.
He was a psycho for liking her, for not taking no for an answer.
He was a psycho for believing her when she said they were friends,
For talking to her, though never asking her out.
For being happy to have her in his life in one way or another.
He was a psycho for having deep feelings and writing them, for not being a sociopath like those she was used to.
He was a psycho.
He was not the...
There is always a price to pay for treachery.
No matter how justified she felt in lying, she still lied.
She knew she had, but her spite was greater than her conscience,
Greater than her faith.
She had excused herself, and relegated all remonstrations to gaslighting,
When she knew that she was guilty.
She could have had a love for the ages, had what it was she’d been seeking for years,
But her neuroses stood in her way, as they always had,
And she descended into self-pity and paranoia for no...
(Nota Bene: I have stopped using the star rating system, as I find it highly misleading. References to "stars" refer to platforms that still require them.)
Did you ever see that old movie Eddie and the Cruisers? THE BAND has the same sort of vibe. This book is primarily about, you guessed it, a band, on the road looking for gigs, and the author does a beautiful job of describing the travails, victories, and interpersonal relationships and conflicts experienced by the members. If it were only...
It was offered.
It was proffered.
It was extended with all the realness in the world,
A true heart, so taken that the unforeseen rejection scarred it forever.
And you’d given it hope, before you took it away,
Torn in your mind, torn in your chest,
Your predilection for the worst of men in your way again,
Misjudging so heavily that you finally created what it was you feared,
First in your own mind, then, by betrayal, in an illusion of action by a heart in despair.
But you’ve known it now, just...
Gloom when it’s raining,
Gloom when it’s hot,
When the sun is shining, even more so when it’s not.
Gloom is all I see now,
There are no more rosy hues,
Disillusioned, sprit broken, even though I’ve paid my dues.
All I see now are liars, shallow people everywhere,
Incompetence, corruption, and obsessions without care.
Humanity ended sometime back,
What used to matter is no longer,
Sociopathy wanes black in gloom, and is only getting stronger.
There is no truth left,
Even those who profess it...
Imagine a stray,
Only seeking food, shelter, warmth, love,
Desperate for someone, somewhere to belong,
But kicked off by the world, as if its life has no value,
Striving to live but failing,
Chased away,
Heart broken as it lies down to die alone,
To give up.
My soul aches for that baby, as my heart is just as broken.
The world has kicked me off in like manner.
And it was you who walked by and did nothing,
Withheld your hand, your love, indifferent,
You who chased my hungry, desperate soul away,
...
Silly 80’s movies on the mind,
The flicks that spoke to us when we were young,
Instilling values we were not aware of,
Challenging us to daydream.
Oh you, the one trapped in circumstance,
The slave to social appearance,
Oh you, the Claire who denies she is as vain,
You did not take the lessons of that era to heart,
For I was was your Bender, your Michael Emerson,
You my Claire, my Star.
But you were set on Chet, on Max, on the rich guy that would become a douche like his father.
Taking every...
He would never leave her mind, no matter what else occurred in her life,
He would be there still, as would what she had done.
She was a liar, and she knew she was,
But she was fine with being that, no matter how it haunted her,
Because she was a petulant child.
He was never a threat to her.
Paranoia, imagination, and hyperbole,
Shallow values and trust in monsters,
Slavery to the expectations of others …
Those were the only threats to her,
Those were what plagued her life,
Yet she chose to continue to give them control,
Scapegoating anyone who wanted to replace them.
All you had to you was tell him from the get-go that you weren’t interested …
But you were, or gave him that impression … on purpose,
Up until he called out the untoward behavior of another,
Which he did not realize was calling you out,
And only then did you reject him,
After baiting him into a confession of interest, so you could crush him harder.
But, even then, you did not tell him you didn’t want to talk, as you later claimed in a lie.
Yes, it would have led to hard feelings, but that’s...
Oh the secrets must stay secret,
Lest the guilty in power have to answer for their crimes,
Protected at all costs, even at the expense of justice,
Sacrificing all credibility.
Oh ye who started it all with your lies,
If you were involved, you owe him the truth,
You possess a moral duty to expose their sins,
To aid the one you wronged, even if he wronged you in return.
If you do not, your conscience will slay you,
And you will spend your eternity in the hell fire you have earned.
Make right...
