I had no childhood dreams,
I just wanted to survive,
Not a doctor nor an astronaut,
Just to make it through alive.
Does that seem awful?
Does that seem perverse?
No dreams to sell for worthless trifles,
Which, to me, is so much worse.
So you cannot let me down,
There’s nothing that will surprise me,
I know the depths of human selfishness,
Though the spite still hurts inside me.
Happiness was never supposed to be mine,
Only endless turmoil, and that’s fine.
Learned to live with it long ago,
For I refuse to put on a show.
And I am content to be alone,
For false love is nothing good to hone.
No, company loses all its sense,
When it’s based in games and pretense.
I wanted only a heart that matched mine,
But there is not one in existence, and that’s fine.
I was never to have love for more than a blink, and that’s fair
Because I honestly no longer care.
I’m completely...
To be disliked and smeared by many …
Is no great travesty,
When they act in ignorance and are the worst the world can offer,
Contributing nothing of social value to life,
But insincerity, selfishness, and shallowness,
And training their offspring in the same way.
Their lives, their pursuit of “the good life,”
Their obsessions with competition only admissions that they are lesser,
Their claims to be blessed by a god they don’t even believe in, a sad cry,
So worried about what others have and...
Sunny days,
Joy inside at a familiar face,
Sweet pain of longing,
Light of hope.
Bitten.
Black clouds,
Despair at a familiar face turned to scorn,
Pain of loss.
Floods of insanity and deceit.
Slow death.
Rise again, emptiness.
Staring into nothing.
Signs of impiousness,
Of faith only spoken as a ruse,
Hiding black hearts and deviancy,
Condoning greed and sexual abuse.
Oh, the song of the hill, united in scam,
Megachurch morons and an open sign,
That one is a misogynist and worships the ram.
No real woman would follow this con,
Only a brainwashed idiot,
In league with devil’s spawn.
If this is your belief,
This is your thing,
Then you’ve outed yourself,
As a true fake Christian.
Megachurches collect members for money, like their deviant sheep collect women online for sex and swinging. If you buy into that shit, hate to tell you, but you've been abused your whole life. And there's a reason that hardly a day goes by when one of those pastors, deacons, etc. isn't arrested for kiddie porn or pedophilia. In fact, churches, in general and historically, are and have always been known for harboring both types, and megachurches are right out in the open about it because they’...
When there is nothing real in them, they must be forgotten.
When they have no honesty, they're nothing but rotten.
When lies are their life and they only seek status,
Let them go ruin themselves in their chosen madness.
When their beliefs are from cults that abuse god for money,
Then they're lost to the truth and can't be made to see.
When they suffer themselves to be treated like trash,
Trying to help them is nothing but rash.
When their world is controlled by every user around,
Let them go...
The last revelation was the death blow so cold, exposing such hypocrisy that it collapsed my mind in disbelief, like drinking ice while in the throes of hypothermia. What had I killed myself over? Nothing. No one. There had never been anyone real who could be identified. In place of what I had thought I loved, all that stood now was a statue so frigid and vindictive, so false and distorted, a heart so empty and cold that I could never have looked at it without revulsion had I seen its true...
I died for no reason,
For no love that did call,
For a petty face,
That was not pretty at all.
For a heart with no truth,
My life taken away,
Sacrificed for nothing,
But a vampire’s false sway.
Dead now, without meaning,
Without night, without day,
Heart pierced by a ghost,
Just a vile shadow astray.
All that was lost,
Was what one wanted to lose,
Because it meant nothing anyway,
Stirred no heart,
Its ceasing to exist causing no grief,
A chosen end by a loathsome deceiver.
For if it had meant anything,
It would have been fought for.
Now only an excuse for attention,
From what is not real.
And all it ever was.
Proof of an insincere existence,
A corrupt soul.
Holy fuck.
He’d believed her, believed it when she’d insinuated to him that she had escaped from a psychologically abusive man child. He’d felt bad for her, wanted to help heal her heart. And he knew that her ex infant was as despicable, greedy, heretical, sexist, and vulgar as they come. But, o the lies, the irrefutable proof that she made herself into the victim. She had NOT escaped from him. She had made NO effort to leave him at all. He had rid himself of her. This grotesque caricature of...
Innocent people do not run.
They have no reason.
They do not hide.
They have no cause.
You once asked me why you drew the emotionally damaged.
I was wrong in my answer.
They come to you because you want them to,
Because you hold onto your own damage, refusing to repair it.
You ran from one you call a psycho,
But you only ran to other ones,
And you seem to have no clue how many others you harbor.
You think them great people, it’s true,
Confusing the warning signs for something good, good for...
I crash back into the doldrums,
Unable to claw my out,
And become resigned once more to the dark.
I do not care about anything, not about her,
For I cannot care about one who care not for me,
Nor for her own sense of truth, honesty, dignity,
No care for love nor loyalty … only crap.
I care solely about the intellectual dishonesty of it all,
The baseness of the lying and the betrayal,
The utter lack of remorse for it, refusal of any guilt,
Inhuman.
It eats an ever-growing hole in me.
Trust is...
You know what songs are in my head,
For they are in your head too,
You pluck them from my heart, and I yours,
Maybe different words, different voices,
But the same songs.
And yet you remain outwardly like stone,
Put on a show, do what’s expected,
Keep an unnecessary loss, a hole that will not heal.
Don’t give them to anyone else,
For they do not deserve them.
They are not for them.
They do not sing them.
You know who you sing them for,
The only one who sings them for you,
And they move you...
You had nothing to heal from, not from him, because your trauma was feigned and you reveled in causing him as much pain as you could inflict, vengefully, dead set on teaching him an undeserved lesson when you were just as guilty. You think yourself a pit bull, but pit bulls do not lie. All you taught him was not to trust again, not to love again, and that you have no scruples.
But you won, whatever that means. And, while you pursue your shallow wants, as if nothing ever happened, the world no...
People are not naturally greedy through life. No primate species is. We’re only naturally greedy during infancy, as a survival mechanism. Those who remain greedy were emotionally-stunted before the age of 8, when well-adjusted children begin to share without instruction. They do not need to be taught. Our culture stunts people.
When you labeled him materialistic, and there were no words less true, you projected your own greed onto him, your need for diamonds. You invented rationales to...
Came face to virtual face today with the type of scum you find so fascinating,
The kind you feel worthy of your friendship.
The kind you let into your life, though you shut me out.
I know they are similar, just from what they proudly display, the hyperbolic virtue signaling.
That is what you defer to, bow to, obey?
You must have no self-esteem at all, not a whit.
They are diseased, morally-inferior greedy misogynists who excuse the sins of the wealthy and powerful.
Men who will cheat on you.
...
Imagine being so spoiled and self-righteous that you believed you could willingly accept attention from him, say nothing to him about not wanting it, encourage it, while whispering lies about him, and then later use your own actions to ruin him. Those are not the actions of a good person, not the actions of a believer. They are the actions of a narcissist. Imagine it. Imagine being so self-righteous that you believe your existence in public is so sacrosanct that only those you silently deem...
Every day you keep it,
Deny it and ignore it,
Every day you pretend you have no shame,
Pretend you are innocent,
Pray as if you have nothing to answer for,
Allow suffering to continue in your name,
Repress your desires and fake others, for bad people,
You soul turns a darker shade of gray,
As denial will eat you from the inside until you are empty.
It is the human condition.
You cannot keep it unaffected unless you are sociopathic.
Soon it will be black and you will have no goodness left in...
Do it.
It is not fair to refuse your guilt,
And equally not fair to leave it hanging forever.
Finish it.
Twist the knife.
You stuck it there,
Now finish what you started, chicken shit.
Silence is naught but cowardice.
Take it back or sever the spine,
Admit the truth or finish the murder you began.
Face things as an adult or stay a child and kill.
It’s the only other way to silence lies you won’t admit.
You started it, the fraudulence.
If you’re so superior, then finish what you started.
Pay...