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Three times he had released her,

Three times he’d let her go,

In lieu of having her accused again,

He’d let his heart say no.

The first time she knew well,

As he’d obeyed her silent plea,

And left her alone, no missives more,

He’d left her to be free.

But she’d refused that final gift,

And pursued him for some reason,

Creating an ever-gaping rift,

That she used against him, treason.

The second time she’d come for him,

Out of the blue with red flowers,

Which seemed to mock him for her lies,

But he’...

One day,

When the seasons drew near to a close,

And the light began to fade,

Having never confessed nor atoned for her sins,

After she had let all the monster into her,

And wasted her days on empty make believe,

Trading pretense for nourishment of her soul,

A last ray of light would come to her,

One last beam of sunshine,

And she would realize that everything he had said to her had been right,

That she had given herself to the meaningless,

To the degenerate, to the using and cruel,

And she had...

You will never be off the hook.

Even though he let’s you go by law,

Your moral stain will live with you forever,

Into the grave or scattered in the wind.

Even if you fall into the trap of a vainglorious con man,

Wed and play house once more,

That hook will remain embedded in your flesh,

Tied to your soul,

For the more you run from it, the more deeply it digs,

And it will pierce every fraud you undertake,

Jabbing at you and reminding your of your debt,

Of the crime you inflicted for no other...

The day he started caring about what people like that thought about him was the day he ceased being a real person ... as they had long ago. He didn't need to spend his time trying to relive his youth or selling himself out for money to make himself important. The day they could show they had any actual societal worth, not just to themselves, was the day they could talk. They thought he was crazy, but they had made themselves insane in their own bubble, insulated from reality, oblivious to...

It was hard to describe. Her taste in men was similar to going to a posh, 5-star restaurant and paying an exorbitant amount of money for pate that, literally, came from a can of dog food. So wrapped up in the optics of the situation and the feeling of superiority that came along with it, that no one was wise to the fact that all the food was actually cheap and likely contained horse. And the more garish the better, with gold curtains and cheap green “silk” chairs, chic trash. That would serve...

Certain jobs require that one is an immoral piece of filth. It's part of the unwritten job description, and there's no dissociating it from one's personal life. It's part of one's core being, ever-underlying one's psyche, and the people who do these jobs, no matter how genial and moral they present themselves to be, no matter how family-oriented or living they seem, are vicious scavengers. In fact, they use the guise of respectability and “normality” to fool everyone. Everything is an act....

That odd day, a witness present, when I said I’d work for a treat, cajoling a reluctant pupil. You hesitated. Then your mouth let out your desire. Oh, you would give me a “trial,” you said, as you began to rock suggestively. Now, you would say it was just a joke. But who jokes that way with one they are not attracted to, one they would never consider? Not exactly something one would say to someone one did not want to give ideas to, not to someone one did not want. Is it? Deny away. Your mouth...

You cannot save yourself from yourself, and, if anyone needs help, it’s you and always has been. So go. Chase your convenience, not understanding that it is you who are the convenience. Chase your paycheck without any thought of morality, and obscure what you do from your god with false sentiments. Your intuition is beyond broken, never asking yourself why a man with a stable of women would have any interest in you. There is a reason for it, and it is not what you tell yourself.

When you look...

It was only a matter of time before the ugly oozed in,

Ready to start its game.

Karma manifested.

There it was. Real ugly.

So ugly that the visage was clouded, undefined, like its intentions.

Desperate, smelling blood.

Another stable collector with no real interest,

But, having failed to make a capture elsewhere, looking for easier prey,

A cheap lay,

Someone that would fall for it without a challenge,

Seeking low-self-esteem.

Desperate.

A sure doombringer.

Between the ugly, greedy, and dead-eyed,...

Something was wrong with this place, with many of these people, an underlying infantilism that was lacking in most of the places that he had lived. It was cultural and insidious. A friend of his in school, who had grown up in the area, had once remarked that people out here, even with their education and money, were dumber. But he had been wrong. They weren't any dumber than the rest of the country. It was a product of unearned privilege, of family money and connections, that had stunted...

Fate is going to eat you,

Chew you up and pick your soul from its fangs,

For your deceit has defeated him once more.

You did not come to his aid and admit your sins, your lies,

And the corrupt of mind have used it against him, the dogs you sicced.

He was righteous. He told the truth. Your lies served their purpose.

Deny it no more! You no longer have reason to,

And make no mistake, you are responsible.

You could have had something real but choose nothing.

Fate will tear your essence form you...

When one dwells with a monster for too long, the infection spreads, infesting parts of the psyche, until one becomes like it. It infects those around one, and they, in turn, reinforce its malevolency in one’s soul. The only way to defeat the monster’s insidious rot is to cast off all that it was, all that one recognizes as having come from it. It may have become hard to tell oneself from the disease, but it must be done, if one wants to cure oneself. And it cannot be done by seeking those...

Who holds your heart?

'Tis a trick question, as one cannot hold what does not exist.

Let us rephrase.

Who has shown himself the most convenient to you?

Whom have you led to believe he matters, as if you would not cut his throat the second he does not meet your shallow wants?

Whom do you lead into feeling cared about, when what you care about is whether or not he meets unwritten material qualifications.

You don't even have to like him, as long as he does.

Whom have you dishonestly deferred to,...

It wasn’t how he’d planned to go, but his great grandfather had. And he had inherited that particular curse, which was actually good, considering what else he could have. It had allowed him to exist for this long, though now he wish it hadn’t.

The aspirin seemed have allayed the situation for the time being, but he good go in a decade or go in his sleep that night. There was no way to tell. DVT were wicked that way, wicked as she had been — a secretive malevolence imparting a silent death.

...

Stabbing pain in my head,

Loss of sight, left eye,

Going to throw up,

Likely from my lung.

Hours ago.

So stressed, the idea of aspirin having fled my consciousness, except when shooting pain arose.

Forgotten now for months on end, as I could barely remember to take it before your lies.

You remember the aspirin, surely.

No, you’ve likely rewritten that as well, or never cared enough to note it.

Maybe it was “gay.”

The stress, stress that is greatly your fault, a trigger,

Yes, a passing attack,...

The question that ate at him was, what, exactly, was being sought that was better than he was. He was loyal. He had never cheated on anyone. He was honest (when not being attacked and giving tit for tat). He was loathe to say he was at least passably good-looking, but he’d heard it before and there had been interest from her prior to the mess, denied now or not. He had a wicked sense of humor; she had said so herself. He truly cared for animals, more than she likely did. He would have...

With all of the horrible things that happen in the world, when someone creates issues where there aren’t any, it’s never justifiable. They have transgressed. And when that transgression goes without their acknowledgment, regardless of the other’s responses, it is not only a travesty but a sin against truth.

When one feigns appreciation for another, even if it is undertaken to be “nice,” while slamming them to others, it is a selfish act and a sin. It is not nice.

When one refuses to respect...

I am tired.

I am broken.

I see no future for this world,

Only hate, bigotry, and fraudulence.

Honest souls are few and far between.

Love has no value,

Sincere words have no impact.

I am tired.

I am broken.

My soul is shredded and my heart stopped beating long ago.

No amount of oblivious positivity can cure this world.

I shall finish my writing,

Then hope this permanent rale in my chest signifies escape from this horror show.

Then I can sleep soundly as dust.

And you will still be guilty and...

It had been two years. But, to him, it had been a never-ending ordeal and had no visible horizon. It felt like months only, even days. She would claim it had been an eon, and that she did not even remember his name. But that would be her mind seeking to silence her heart once more, to adhere to what was expected of her. It had only been a few weeks since she had attempted to sic her ill-informed messenger on him, and, before that, it had been less than a year since she had sent him the most...