My name is Sarah Bischoff and the confession of my sins is long. 

As I will never make it of my own volition, it comes by proxy through this song. 

There is much I never told you, o those whom I’ve misled, 

So much I did that I’ve omitted, never to be spoken, by me unsaid. 

First I must confess I never told him to leave me be or go away, 

Although I’ve told you all I did, and reported it that way. 

No, instead I let him think that we were friends and talked to him at length, 

While defaming him to others, I let that illusion grow in strength. 

When he was silent for a time, I would find something to which to reply, 

And kept the connection going, while telling you I wished it’d die. 

I let him in, I told him much that was personal and deep, 

While claiming to all of you that I thought he was a creep. 

I flirted often through the years and made suggestive comments to him freely, 

While convincing you that I rejected him, but I did not, no, no not really. 

I must confess that his gifts did not make me feel uneasy, 

They were thoughtful and they were fun and he’d truly listened to me. 

After the first, I blew a kiss and twice threw myself physically upon him, 

In front of more than one who saw it, yet I told you it made me grim. 

Then he tried to warn me, as a friend, of someone’s game, a show, 

But it was me playing a married man, and I feared that you would know. 

Flirting constant, doing splits, to keep a married man’s attention,

But when called out, I freaked, and blamed my friend for his protection. 

So I treated it as an attack, only a sincere gesture that he’d made for me, 

I treated it as illness, when it was mine I wanted none of you to see.

I confess that I told you that he’d professed his love for me for true, 

But he hadn’t, only expressing interest, I exaggerated to effect my coup.

See, unknown to him, I resented him for calling out my immoral behavior, quite insane, 

And set to slander to make you all believe it was he who was deranged. 

You all know me, and know my penchant for love of pity and unreachable conclusions, 

But you fell for it, once again, and believed my baseless grand delusions.

But I kept him at hand all the same, pretending, feeding my continued lie, 

While I insisted to you all that he was imposing himself on me, with sigh. 

But he caught on one day to my false face, and with parting gift, said goodbye,

He let me go, stopped talking, gave me what I told you I wanted, but I started to cry, 

How dare he ignore me! I would not accept it! I wanted his attentions, 

But I told you I didn’t like him and made that point without exceptions. 

My bluff was called, and, as I made clear to you, I didn’t want him as a friend, 

But losing control was not my aim, and I’d lied to you again. 

I told you all that I simply didn’t want it to be awkward there,

But I was the one who was never honest with him, with me, with you, not fair. 

So I refused to leave him be, like a normal person who claimed to feel harassed,

No, no, I became the harasser, but kept telling you it was him, as in the past. 

I would not let him walk away, and doubled my aggressive need to be acknowledged, 

While making them all hate him, playing victim, pushed him to the edge. 

That was the plan all along. It’s what I wanted to happen and it did. 

And then I crossed a line too wide, forced his hand … and then I hid. 

I made him angry with intent, and he stupidly obeyed my silent command, 

Giving me exactly what I needed to play out the rest of my pity-seeking hand. 

I cried to you, and, although you knew that I invented things, 

You coddled me like a two year old and bought my sob story with diamond rings. 

I lied and made out that he thought we were together, 

He never did, he thought, as I led him to believe, just friends in any weather. 

I did it. I caused it. But the truth will never leave my lip, 

I’ll mouth piety, feign fear, and play it forever, as my perfect pity ship. 

Oh! But I did worse than that, and that I told you not a whit of, 

Things so depraved if you knew them you would retract friendship and love. 

I lied to absolutely everyone, blamed him for things he did not do, 

To fool everyone into believing he was still trying a rendezvous, 

When I was the one who continued to go when and where he would be, 

And claimed attempted contact without proof, to try to screw him endlessly. 

I still do. My lies have never ceased, I continue them as we speak, 

Lies without a grain of truth, meant to punish, vengeance wreak. 

I am no Christian, no compassion, I fear not eternal punishment, 

I lie with abandon and to hide from being exposed for my intent. 

You’d likely leave me if you knew how hard I’ve tried to ruin him, drown him in strife, 

And I continue, aided the whole time by your unwitting support that gives my hubris life, 

If ever I am outed and your eyes are opened to my crimes, just wait, 

I will give myself to the worst man I can, and you will come to save me from my fate,

How many times must I repeat that act, until you finally catch on? 

They don’t come to me bad, I make them monsters, reap pity, then make them gone. 

I knew him for years and know well that naught have I from him to fear, 

But my lies can never know the light of day, and from you I keep them, dear. 

I will never admit, never confess, never seek to make things right, 

I will, instead, hide from truth, hide my lies, and hope they never see the light. 

See, charges made against me, the ones I told you were not true 

Were. They were, but I will deny them until my time is through. 

I am as guilty as he, but, unlike him, all I have to do is cry 

To get you on my side, unthinking, to make you believe the lie. 

I will keep playing it for every cent it’s worth, use the dupes, my kids, and you, 

And I will NEVER consider relinquishing this never-ending ruse. 

I will never stop, for, although I told you he bears all the blame, 

I cannot allow myself to ever admit, in this nonsense the guilt’s the same. 

He did love me, as I learned later, after lying about it to fake my story, 

And I don’t care, because I need the pretense for your pity, fear, and worry. 

I know I am partly to blame and I know I pushed him hard, ‘til pissed, 

But I don’t care, I don’t, because I’m the self-deprecating narcissist. 

I trapped him in an unwinnable snare, knowing I could play a child, 

And everyone fell for it, as planned, no matter how hyperbolic and wild.

It’s a game I play, and I play it well, and you’ve all watched it for years,

But you fall for it still and I crave your pity for fake tears …

… more than I do love, my dears.