She’d jump off a bridge before ever admitting anything, any wrongdoing, 

Before ever deeming to see him as a fallible human being, 

Believing herself infallible, though she feigned error on occasion, 

But only in a phony Christian way. 

He had once thought her a Fire Woman, 

Saw her shining in beauty, aglow with the possibility of love,

But whatever flame she had, she had burnt out long ago,

And would not even acknowledge his having been enamored of her so, call it “gay,”

As brutish men had taught her. 

She was Earth, dull, plodding, materialistic, and attracted to the same.

And she had belligerently dug her own trap.

Maybe she would reap luck she did not deserve and be let go, 

But she would still be guilty, guilty and in denial, silent forever, 

And chasing creeps. 

She thought she could dictate his feelings. 

She saw him as beneath her, as sludge, not worthy of her attention or her confession,

To be scraped from under her feet. 

But she had made herself even lower. 

She owed him both in spades, but she would rather be a slave to arrogance. 

She would claim she did not hate, but one who did not could never treat another so badly.