With all of the horrible things that happen in the world, when someone creates issues where there aren’t any, it’s never justifiable. They have transgressed. And when that transgression goes without their acknowledgment, regardless of the other’s responses, it is not only a travesty but a sin against truth. 

When one feigns appreciation for another, even if it is undertaken to be “nice,” while slamming them to others, it is a selfish act and a sin. It is not nice. 

When one refuses to respect another’s space and leave them alone, because one is uncomfortable with the silence caused by one’s own actions, it is a sin engaged in for selfish reasons. 

But when once, not having gotten one’s way, one proceeds to smear the other as deranged, delusional, manic, unstable, angry, materialistic, and prone to self-harm because they have feelings, that is the absolute definition of gaslighting and a narcissist’s favorite tool. It’s not the “Oh you said something I don’t agree with, ergo you’re crazy” disagreement that, today, leads so many to claim gaslighting to excuse themselves. It’s the real thing. 

And when it’s said to absolve oneself of any blame and to damage the other’s reputation, it will provoke negative responses. If the answer to those responses is a lack of understanding, condemnation, and attempts to thoroughly destroy someone, it becomes a moral crime. Yes, one can point to things one learned later to try to excuse oneself, but there is no excuse. It is what it is on its face, and only the narcissist will continue to deny it. 

But, if it’s a situation of mutual hurt, sincere hurt, then there is a debt owed, and it will always be owed. If only the responder has to pay it, no matter how egregious the response, then there is an imbalance that must be corrected. It doesn’t matter how bad it got. The debt still exists. And, if one is unwilling to pay it, then one has admitted to one’s narcissism, admitted to being wholly selfish. 

There is a debt owed, and it is a great debt, one that requires great gestures, not petty half-heartedness, not a dismissal of blame. It is one that requires a swallowing of pride and acts of sincere atonement. No words from others can ever excuse it. No number of rationalizations can negate it. No amount of denial can make it not exist. It is a moral necessity, and one who claims faith has twice the burden. One must give up one’s ego until the debt is paid, give what is owed, gestures of humility and understanding. 

But if there is no intention of atoning, no intention of admission, no intention of acknowledgement, then there was no real pain on that side and the mirror will reflect back a narcissist, a malignant person with no conscious, and time will come for one, karma will punish.