She told herself that she was the best mother in the world … but she was so far from it that the truth, if she were ever able to accept it, would destroy her mind. She’d revealed her further neurosis when a man who’d loved her, and she’d tried to ruin for it, had kidded her about being a tad overbearing, and she’d lost her shit over it. The truth was that she was, and, not only had she saddled her progeny with a grifting, misogynistic, racist heretic for a father, but she’d infantilized them, doing everything for them, well into their late teens and beyond. They were lucky they looked more like her, because he was one ugly son of a bitch and she had really thrown herself down a hole of debasement by ever sleeping with him, much less marrying him. But she’d overcompensated for his having abandoned them, and it would be surprising if either of them could make themselves a sandwich or wash their own clothes. But it didn’t matter, since daddy was rich, a trust fund baby, though a bastard in the old sense, and they would, no doubt, follow him into his line of work … and become just like him. 

She had not prepared them at all. 

She thought she’d done a commendable job, but she had sent two more adult male infants into the world, one, at least, who had already adopted the false religious fanaticism of his daddy, and maybe hers, though she did not live it, which was a sign of extreme emotional stunting. It wasn’t surprising, since she had let her degenerate ex influence them, even though she’d had to go after him for child support. She’d clearly been brainwashed into the stupid belief that boys need their father, even when their father was a grotesque pig, who had ditched her and likely convinced her into a life of what she and her friends would disingenuously label sinful living. She’d even had him convicted for some depraved action, and he was a felon. But, still, the “greatest mother in the world” let him influence her boys. No, boys did not need a porcine scoundrel for a role model. They needed a strong mother figure, and she had failed in that duty remarkably, being a doormat for insincere brutes. The only blessing there was that she did not have girls.

But she still imposed upon the world two more “men,” who would likely become just as abusive and useless as their daddy, and she had consciously chosen to do so. Instead of teaching them how to be real good men, how to fend for themselves and not expect the world to deliver them whatever they wanted, she had, instead, cursed whichever women ended up being stupid enough to marry them. It wasn’t her fault, per se, not entirely. She had been raised that way by an anachronistic culture based in perverse dreams of a time that had never existed. But she still should have known better and made better choices. 

Now she was responsible for what she had unleashed, but she rejected any and all truth and condemned the bearer to Hell, as if she thought herself God. She refused to face her own failures and always had, suborned in her delusions by people as deluded as she, who dwelt in cognitively dissonant dishonesty and arrogance in a grotesque world of self-inflicted horror.