When you cannot acknowledge past lies, moving on is not an option. For, when the lie remains, it becomes a basis for your thoughts, impinging upon every word, emanating from a tainted heart, sullying every feeling and robbing you of any sincerity. No, you cannot be a liar, commit betrayal, and imagine that anything you say from then on has any semblance of truth. You cannot lie about love and claim to love another. It is usury. Your sentiments are tainted, predicated upon falsity, on escape from the lie. It is another lie itself and your heart knows it. 

Big changes following a painful loss are not real, unless the one lost forced you to conceal your real desires and create a false world. The need for change is a cope, another means of escape from reality. The change is not real, but imaginary, forced. It is self-delusion, and it will heal nothing.

You must wrestle with what’s real to be able to move on. It’s not optional, and cowardice solves nothing. Otherwise your life will be wholly a lie, a pretense, a sham you perpetrate upon yourself. There is no “new life” nor “new love” predicated on lies and a desperation to escape. You become a criminal, pretending to be someone else, running from accountability, running from the truth, using others to hide your sins, hide your pain. 

This is not a life. This is nothing but a cover for a guilty heart, and it can never lead to happiness.