You cannot save yourself from yourself, and, if anyone needs help, it’s you and always has been. So go. Chase your convenience, not understanding that it is you who are the convenience. Chase your paycheck without any thought of morality, and obscure what you do from your god with false sentiments. Your intuition is beyond broken, never asking yourself why a man with a stable of women would have any interest in you. There is a reason for it, and it is not what you tell yourself. 

When you look at him, look into his repugnance, telling yourself that it’s worth it, worth the debasement. Do not think of me. You know you still do. When you sleep with him, realizing you do so without passion, as you have none. Your motives are not true, and you have built your impetus upon lies, lies you murdered love with. You will know that you do not love him, not in your heart, and he will never love you because there is no you. You only show them what you think they want to see. 

Do not think of me again. Erase me from your mind, as you believe you can. I am dead to you. You are dead to me, what I thought you were. You are a bottomless abyss of need and shallow wants. What you showed me never existed, just an act, as you act now for those not worth anything, those who will never feel anything real for you. 

Do not heed any warning. Do not compare him to me. And when the pain comes again, the usury dawns on you and you find yourself back where you had escaped, remember me not. For I no longer exist. I am not even a shadow in your mind. You do not recognize me, because you never let yourself know me. My words have no meaning and do not exist.

I am dead. Forget me.