The question that ate at him was, what, exactly, was being sought that was better than he was. He was loyal. He had never cheated on anyone. He was honest (when not being attacked and giving tit for tat). He was loathe to say he was at least passably good-looking, but he’d heard it before and there had been interest from her prior to the mess, denied now or not. He had a wicked sense of humor; she had said so herself. He truly cared for animals, more than she likely did. He would have seriously damaged anyone who fucked with her. And there were shared likes, values, and habits, excepting sports, which didn’t matter because he didn’t object to them and having all the same interests was unhealthy. It must have been the old standby: “Nice guys never win,” though he never would have claimed to be that nice. She actually had no idea what she’d passed on.
As far as he could tell, what he had been rejected for were a mishmash of the immoral/amoral, ranging from the egregiously greedy, with no compunctions about doing heinous work that hurt people; open perverts, who kept stables of women and wouldn’t miss the chance to add scantly-clothed girls, some of whom were clearly cammers or even fakes; open players; divorced men, whose exes clearly wanted nothing to do with them, a clear sign of being some manner of egregious asshole; fake Christians, who sported religious images all over the place, but who gave themselves up as bigots, frauds, and heretics with their own words; authoritarians with emotionally fucked-up kids; and some of the most physically repugnant faces he had ever seen — if not actually inbred, pretty damn close. The whole menu looked like backwoods Alabama with money.
And that’s what it all came down to … money and connections. Because there was nothing else. It was not how someone in 2025 should seek a partner or even a friend. None of them appeared trustworthy, and being able to see that should have been a benefit of her age, i.e. their inability to really hide their pasts. He could only assume that was the reason, and, possibly, that she had perverse hobbies of her own, likely adopted from the scum she had been with, that she felt could only be shared with people from a certain crowd. But, again, she had no idea what she had passed on. He was not a creep, but he was not wholly averse to things in private (though she had not seen what she thought she did). And, furthermore, she was not exactly the prom queen, truth be told, though pretty, if underdeveloped, but he had found her beautiful in her own way. Not anymore. He didn’t care what piece of shit she chose and hoped she picked a doozy to do to her what she had done to him. He just couldn’t help but find it insulting.
It just turned his stomach and increased his hate for her exponentially. She objected to being labeled certain things, but she exemplified them all with her choices. He had clearly been the best choice she’d had in years, and, no matter how egotistical it sounded, it was true. Her worldview must have been completely warped beyond reason. Of course, it all could have simply hinged upon a common place of origin, where her mind was clearly stuck, but that was not a basis for choosing either, as a common background meant absolutely shit, especially so many years later.
He didn’t want her anymore, given her despicable lying and ego, but he just didn’t get it.