It was your warped conditioning that led you to believe those who have emotions, reactions, are mentally unwell. That is your personal illness. For it is those who have no reactions, or reactions so shallow, who are powder kegs underneath their skin. Those with no opinions or only those deemed “respectable” hide secret neuroses, waiting to crawl out. Sociopaths. There is nothing going on in their heads, only in their infantile stomachs, gnawing greed, fear of the world, and a cloying need for control. No, child, your definitions are backwards. It is those you deem wall-adjusted who are the sickest, the most disturbed, the sociopathic, living behind smiling masks, waiting to drag you into their world where they can let their monster free. 

You had already seen his worst, and it was nothing—some complaining, a desperate need to understand why others do the things they do. But you preferred the groping user, the one who treated you like a toy. And what do you think would have happened if you’d been alone, with no prying eyes, no chance at being found out? It was eventual yet you allowed it, enabled it from the start. And for the other rejection was not enough, as you craved the attention, and you lied, prodded and poked, until you got a grand negative reaction, labeling it emotional problems, when they were your emotional problems projected. What did you think would happen after creating an untenable situation? No you were not clear. You said one thing and did another. 

Though everyone has them, his issue were minor and open to you, not hiding anything. But you prefer the ones who cover their inner demons from the world, behind suits and cars and dinners and titles, those who play roles until, eventually, inflicting their ills upon you in the dark, behind walls where no one else can see. And that is what you do as well. You could not be bothered to penetrate below his surface even though he wore no mask, until, finally, he was forced to pick one up because that is all you allow yourself to see. 

And you are still wearing yours, as you seek out and lie with the disturbed.